Famous  TV and movie   actor Charlie Sheen was seen 

celebrating last night at Hollywood's famous club, The Hidden Door. The grand celebration with 200 of Mr. Sheen's close, personal friends was held to celebrate The State of California Unemployment Department's approval of his claim. Mr. Sheen was quoted as saying, "Thank goodness for the money. It will really come in handy. Not sure what I would do without it."  Shortly after this statement, Mr. Sheen purchased the house a round of drinks and offered a toast: "This toast is for the little guy. We won again!" 

Mr. Sheen is reportedly going to Las Vegas this weekend to continue the celebration. Apparently, he will put his first check on Roulette Table Number 6.

Mr. Sheen has been applauded by his fellow travelers as a true American hero for standing up for what's right in America. Personally, I think all of us have to stand and cheer for the great Charlie Sheen. 

His courage and talented genius out shines most of the little people. Only a few of us who are truly gifted and highly talented can truly know his magnificence.  Mr. Sheen stands on America's corner on a soapbox of justice fighting for truth and fairness for the talented and underpaid such as you.

Apple Announces iPhone 20‏ "XX"

 Dateline, Cupertino, CA 

      Today a giant leap has been made. The Apple  iPhone 20 (or as it has been called, "XX") features: a 3-D screen, 1080P high definition video, surround sound,  advanced video projection with the ability to project an image in full sun light up to a 20 by 20 foot screen size, and a complete video game platform built in with all X-Box and PlayStation games.  In short: a Phone Entertainment Center.  

With this one phone, you can eliminate your TV, stereo system, gaming consoles... along with your lap top computer, of course.  The most exciting feature to me is Apple's "By-Language" application. One simply puts a blue-tooth earpiece on and whatever one says is translated into any language one wishes via the iPhone, eliminating the need to know any foreign language. What is said to you and what you say to others is always understood no matter your language. It's all so wonderful. Apple has done it again.

Unfortunately, Apple announced that they need to move from the current iPhone 4, to 5 to 6 and then eventually to 20. Therefore, it will take approximately eight years until the iPhone 20 is introduced into the marketplace. An Apple spokesman explained that the iPhone 20 is too much of a technology leap for many to understand and use. Therefore, consumers need to be taken in baby steps from the current model 4 to the model 20, upgrading their phone sixteen times. Then they will be ready.   We have to be thankful that Apple has such foresight. The gods of Apple are indeed wiser than we humans.   

In a related news-story, Google introduced a program called "Solve." By simply typing any question into it, Solve will solve it, ending all of humankind's misery. Its mighty power can solve anything from the cure to any disease to the meaning of life.  After meetings with Apple, Google has wisely decided that man is not yet ready for such a wonderful gift. Solve's launch date has been postponed from early 2012 to 2065 when humankind will be more mature.

Counterfeit Rolex Manufacturers Say, "If No One Knows It's Fake, Then It Must Be Real."‏

       Today at the Convention of Counterfeit Goods held in Las Vegas, the President of Phony Rolexs  Mike Antenatal said, "Rolexs are overpriced. They're just jewelry. Anyone who really knows watches knows that, if you see someone who has money and knows watches, he will wear a Patek Phillipe or a Franck Muller or one of a hand full of other craftsmen watches.  Our watches have Japanese and Swiss movements that don't have to be serviced every few years. Did your dad have to have his Timex serviced every few years? I think not. Don't give me the argument about accuracy. A good twenty dollar digital watch is more accurate then a Rolex.

 It's just a big shiny sign you put on your wrist that says 'mug me.'  I ask men, 'Why are you buying a watch for your wife that says "Kidnap me I have money"?  Just buy a good fake for a few hundred dollars. If you're the only one who knows it's fake - who cares? Show off to your friends. After all, this is one of the few fakes you can buy that says 'I am rich.'  You can't buy a fake Rolls or Mercedes. And if you are going to buy your wife a Rolex, get a fake one. If bad guys start running towards her, tell her to throw the watch at them. It will slow them down or stop them. It's only three or four hundred dollars - not twenty grand. And if you really want a great watch, buy something like a Orient. (http://www.orient-watch.com/feature/gmt/). They cost a few hundred dollars.  It's not just a watch. It's a timepiece. Of course, look at the people buying Rolexs. They just care about the name - not the watch. These are the same people who buy over-priced wine because they need to impress their friends with the label."

Personally, I don't care for this Talking Head. Someday I am going to buy a Rolex. Then I can love and worry about a watch.

Obama States SPECTRE Too Big to Fail‏

Dateline, The Capitol

      SPECTRE, the evil super villain empire, could be saved by another Obama money bail out.   SPECTRE, well known for its vast construction work force and its evil labs located in Chicago, is today asking the president for help. Once a strong force in multiple efforts to take over the world, SPECTRE built many massive secret construction products such as the Seattle's Space Needle which is actually a rain magnomentor (a rain magnomentor actually attracts rain clouds) and including the still half finished Delta Death Ray project in Utah. When finished, the Death Ray will be able to destroy anyone on this world and employ over eight hundred workers.

Utah government officials said that the multi acre underground project has employed thousands of people during its construction bringing millions of dollars into the local economy. In a written statement from the white house to congress, the president stated that we need to do what is right for our future and economy. SPECTRE provides new green technology for our America by eliminating the high energy use and toxic waste made by prior people elimination weapons. With tomorrow's technology, SPECTRE can eliminate people more efficiently.  A SPECTRE spokesman said that with proper funding, an entire city could be eliminated with a quarter of the energy we use today.  If we don't provide SPECTRE with the necessary billions, that technology and those jobs will go away.

Future technology on their drafting board such as the Dehydration Ray (which can dry a man to dust in an instant) will be lost. Our children will no longer be makers of destruction. They will be customers that have to shop foreign markets. Imagine twenty years from now, when your child wishes to buy chemical warfare devices from an American company. When he can't, what will you say to him? As a stock holder in SPECTRE, I thank President Obama for helping a company that provides living wage jobs to honest Americans.